Thoughts of the day.

This is what I am dealing with today. Gonzalo, the father of my three friends, Efren, Adrian, and Adriana, just asked me if I could help him get a car. He is unemployed right now and so he was helping to do construction on the church until the end of this month when he says that he will work again.

I don't really know how to respond. He says that he needs 300 or maybe 400 US dollars to get a little four door sedan so that he can go to work and not have to pay the money to the taxi. He also said that he would pay me back, little by little.

This concerns me a little. First, I don't like to be someone who looks like I have resources. The problem is, I am. I drive a nice previously owned SUV and Erin and I live in a nice place and we have the ability to fly home every so often. So, I guess, I am humbled by this. No matter how little money I think I have, it is in a different category altogether to think about being unemployed with a family to feed and trying to find work. And to top it all off, they don't complain about it, they just are joyful and have given to us two chickens (which we ended up not accepting, but then gave them chicken wire to build a bigger chicken coup).

The second concern of mine is relationship. If I give money to someone, that creates a relationship where I am expecting money, it turns from friendship, into the lender. I don't want to change our relationship. I want to be equal. And I don't want to give it away, because that would change the relationship as well.

Lastly, I am concerned because I want nothing more than to help this family. I love them. Last night, after service, Efren, in his spiderman pajamas, came running to me to say hello, hug me and to invite me to come over and see the chicken coup. Then he ran away to catch the church suburban that was taking them back to their house. The family deserves every opportunity. They go to church, they are kind, they love their children. They are hard working.

I would appreciate any wisdom and prayer on this.

Courage...

Mondays are interesting for me. All day long, I begin to sink into a nervous and jumbly mess. At 6:20pm, I start the half hour drive to Rosarito, where football practice takes place. I don't know why I get nervous. I know that it has something to do with the unknown. I never know when the other coach is going to show up or if it will be just me. I also know that I don't know the tone of how the guys are going to be. Sometimes they are slow-moving, sometimes they are motivated.

Even though it has been getting easier to go each time, I still find myself consumed in a way that I can't explain.

The last couple of days have been tough. Erin and I have been feeling discouraged and trying to figure out what we are doing and if we are doing what God wants us to or we are just working on our own. And this came after feeling very encouraged just a few days before.

As I started my drive, I decided to play a sermon on my Ipod. I chose one from a guy named Francis Chan. He is one of my favorite speakers. The sermon happened to be about courage. He talked about how important it is to resemble God since we are His children, and how often we fail to live with courage because we get old, and we lose the ability to do things that people think are unsafe, or unwise.

He went on to talk about why he speaks to high school kids so much. He said that it is because they still believe that they can do amazing things with God and they are looking for someone who is 40 with kids who is still living the life that the world says is weird.

And as I drove to a dirt field in the schoolyard of a Mexican high school, I decided that it was time for me to live with the courage of a child of God. I realized that God was with me and that these kids are put in my life for a reason. Not only that, but the coach Tony was as well.

As we were leaving the practice, Coach Tony told me that His car was stolen, his other car's battery was stolen and his mother was sick. He alluded to the fact that God had his attention and that he was wondering what God was trying to say.

Courage.

Not only do I want to have that courage that infuses life into everything I do, but I want to give courage to everyone who wants it. That is now what I am about.

Things I am excited about...

1. Last week, I was asked to go out and help move some 20 foot 4x10 pieces of lumber off of a truck and while heavy and being sore, I earned some better friendships with the guys.
2. I watched the Mexican league soccer championship with some other guys and built some "cred" with them as well.
3. Getting to know the names of the orphans. Even though there are 109 of them, at the Door of Faith orphanage, I still want to know them all. Plus, reading the Bible is different for me now that I know orphans and the amazing way that this orphanage truly takes care of the orphans.
4. Web site is almost ready to go up so we can communicate better.
5. Even in Mexico, I get good spaghetti. (its a cheap meal and Erin makes it from scratch)
6. Our friends let us use their DVD's of the show 24 and they are addicting. They make me so tense...but watching them is fun.
7. Learning more Spanish. At church last week, Erin and I were just sitting there and the Pastor was introducing the sermon topic, and we looked at each other because we had just been talking about that verse. Then I realized that we both were understanding and thinking in Spanish.
8. Good friendships. After church on Thursday night, our friends asked us when we coming over to their house the next time, and then gave us some cucumbers that they had grown. I don't like cucumbers, but they are really good here. Plus, when someone gives you a gift like that, you can't help but feel loved.
9. Almost through the Bible in a year, even though it has taken me a year and a half.
10. Even though we are short on resources, I have a new sense of dependence on God like I have never had before. Through donations that we don't expect, we keep getting just enough money to make it. It is not a fun feeling, but really, it is the best thing in the world, because money, security and jobs on this Earth will let you down. God won't.
11. And lastly, my wife Erin is the best. We are getting along so well and laughing and loving where we are. I am very lucky.